Heather Sanders

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October 2007



Are big girls beautiful?

Written by , Posted in Everything Else, Health and Weight Loss

Big Girls are Beautiful

…or are these videos just a way for overweight women given to excessiveness to feel validated?

A friend of mine sent me a link to this YouTube video. I’ve watched it now three or four times. It’s catchy, relatively fun to watch, and has given me something to chew on. I’d like to discuss it. Watch it and let’s talk.

First, I’m nothing if not methodical, so before I jump into a discussion on true beauty, I want to give the Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) definition.


  • having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech.
  • excellent of its kind: a beautiful putt on the seventh hole; The chef served us a beautiful roast of beef.
  • wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying.
  • the concept of beauty
  • (used with a plural verb) beautiful things or people collectively (usually prec. by the): the good and the beautiful.

There are a few other definitions that are phrased differently, but with the same meaning.

Drawing just from the definition above, I’m going to say that yes, some big girls are beautiful, just like some trim and healthy girls are beautiful.

Maybe this tall lanky guy singing this song likes his girls big. Maybe he just wanted to create a popular video – and with the increasing number of overweight women in this nation, I’m sure this has been a popular video. We (and I’m including myself in this) want to feel beautiful regardless of what the scale says. We want to feel attractive. We want to think someone looks on us and thinks, “Yea baby, that’s what I want.”

The reality is that we’ve reached this point – this point of being overweight – and whether we’re striving to lose weight, not given it much thought, skulking in our skin, or already given up the fight, WE ALL STILL WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL TO SOMEONE.

Am I wrong?

Is there an overweight woman out there that can honestly say, “I don’t care if anyone sees beauty in me?”

I haven’t met one – and I’ve had this discussion with MANY women.

Now, if we’re overweight women we might stand up and say, “I’m proud of who I am. I don’t care that I’m overweight or obese. I may be overweight, but I have a huge heart. I am good to my friends and family. I am active in my church or community. I am recognized in my work. I do not have any health issues. Being overweight has not been an issue for me.”


I agree that you can be proud of who you are, have a huge heart, be good to all, actively serving, recognized as a solid worker, and not have any major health issues, BUT I DO NOT BELIEVE that you are proud of being overweight. Is there anyone that can say I AM PROUD of being overweight?

Remember. I AM OVERWEIGHT. I am speaking straight from the life and heart of an overweight person when I say, “I don’t believe you.”

That’s why videos like the one above are so popular now. We want to be validated IN SPITE OF our weight. I believe that’s what spurred on this popular YouTube video.

This is where I’ll probably get flamed. This is where someone will jump in and say that just because I am full of self-loathing does not mean I can project it upon all other overweight women. I’m not and I don’t. This is when the fat and supposedly proud will jump in and say,”My man loves my extra rolls and so do I.” This is when someone will say they are overweight, but healthy, and not recognize THAT is an oxymoron.

Please hear me. I am not saying overweight women lack value. I am not saying that overweight women cannot be beautiful. I am not saying anything negative about who we are, what we do, what we can become, etc… I am saying that it is a reflection of our lack of self control and discipline, plus our growing waistlines that there are videos to validate our excessiveness.

I see videos like these as a way to justify continuing in destructive behavior.

And again, I UNDERSTAND THERE ARE SOME medical conditions that are beyond some women’s control, but that isn’t the majority of us – not by a longshot.

If given the opportunity to not be overweight – to trade in fat for trim and healthy – I bet few to none would say, “No, I’d rather be overweight.”

What do you think?

Heather Sanders


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