Heather Sanders

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December 2009



Let’s give’em something to talk about…

Written by , Posted in Everything Else, Love and Marriage


…a little mystery to figure out
Let’s give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love?
(Sing it Bonnie Raitt)

This man? I am bone of his bones, flesh of his flesh (Genesis 2:23) and I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’re coming up on our 15th wedding anniversary – 15 years of accumulated moments. Some of those moments shone like a beacon, celebrating the beauty of marriage and other moments could have eclipsed the brightest light as we learned the true, day-to-day “living-out” of the commitment we made to each other and to our Lord.

In teaching my own children the value of love in relationships I constantly point out Jeff and my strengths and failures. “Do you remember when I…”, “Do you see how Daddy…” and “Do you know that your Daddy and I…” statements show them that love isn’t just fuzzy feeling. Love doesn’t play out like in Another Cinderella Story…that is the love of Hollywood. True love…the “forever” kind of love is a daily commitment to ACT OUT one’s love to another.

Love is an action verb.

We talk about examples of how we show love.

“Love is cleaning up a mess in the living room you didn’t make.”
“Love is helping your brother with his Math work so Mom can read with Meredith.”
“Love is folding someone else’s clothes and putting them away or making their bed.”
“Love is not saying ugly things when you are mad.”
“Love is taking your time and coloring a really pretty poster.”
“Love is being quiet when someone is taking a nap.”
“Love is making the coffee for the 5,234th time.”
“Love is listening without interrupting.”
“Love is cooking breakfast for the family.”

When I was growing up my parents didn’t have a bunch of “rules”, instead there were “understandings” that came out in our day to day interactions. I loved them and so I didn’t want to disappoint them with poor behavior. Having three kids of my own, I see how this level of relationship leads to children who are obedient because they don’t want to break relationship. Their obedience is a demonstration of their love.

If you ask my kiddos what is the number one rule in our family they will all three chime, “Love one another.”

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” – John 13:34-35

Love may seem like some deep mystery of the heart, but really…love is just an action; it occurs in every act of selflessness where we deny self for another. And THAT is where “the world”, through media, literature and music, often thwarts love’s true meaning.

I love my husband and it is my prayer that by loving him the way God intended, my children will come to know and experience the same true, forever, joyful, committed kind of love Jeff and I share.

That’ll give’em something to talk about, eh?

Heather Sanders


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