I multi-task, which is why my kids are bilingual.
Like many homeschooling moms I know, I juggle too many thoughts in my head at once on a daily basis. This is why comments like, “Be ready to leave for the dentist at 8:30 am to get your eyes checked!” makes all the sense in the world to my kids.
They are bilingual.
Actually, Emelie is trilingual. She speaks ASL. No, wait, she doesn’t speak ASL – she signs ASL. See what I did there? I knew I was going to integrate ASL into this post, but because I was trying to hold it in the back of my head while thinking about how I screwed up telling the kids where we were going, I messed up the delivery.
This is why I’m a homeschooling mom, and not a comedian. Kids are forgiving, audiences are not.
So, my clan walks into the optometrist’s office with backpacks full of books, water bottles and Starbursts, which would not have worked if we were ACTUALLY at the dentist’s office (more proof they totally knew where we were going), and the lady at the counter asks, “Will you be needing a doctor’s note for when you take them back to school.”
I considered getting a doctor’s note for Jeff, but he probably didn’t even remember we had an appointment to see the dentist – that’s because he is a homeschooling DAD, which means he doesn’t have to hold any information in his head. He only has to attend the annual homeschool conference, and subsidize mine and the kids’ obsession with Amazon.
All three kids had their eyes examined, but only two needed glasses, Emelie and Meredith. Meredith didn’t want me posting any photos of her from today, so this one is of Emelie, right after she told the optometrist it had been 2 1/2 years since her Momma brought her in to have her eyes checked.
I was embarrassed, because that is obviously too long a time to stretch a prescription, and made me look like a lousy mom. So, to comfort myself, and prove I wasn’t a lousy mom, I popped-off a joke, saying I had to bring Emelie in because she just turned 16 and hit a pole trying to parallel park during her driver’s road test.
No, I didn’t really say that.
What I really said was that she just turned 16 and that I felt it was important for her to be able to see the people she hit.
He laughed, and that proved I wasn’t a lazy mom for not bringing her in sooner than 2 1/2 years for her annual eye exam.
It’s the new math.
Then, I proved I was even a better mom because I agreed to the frames both girls wanted, even though they exceeded the $150 budget allotted by insurance, and I also purchased poly-carbonate lenses instead of plastic.
Unfortunately, it was a short-lived victory because I turned down the recommendation for non-glare lenses, which I was told would significantly reduce and relieve the girls’ eye strain from all forms of light.
I could feel that eye specialist chic judging me, thinking I was all about the frames, but didn’t care anything for my girls’ eyes.
Later, when I told Jeff that I didn’t bring him a doctor’s note, I also confessed I didn’t buy non-glare lenses. He reminded me that he didn’t have non-glare lenses in his frames either, so I felt justified entirely.
Tomorrow we’re headed to the optometrist to get our teeth cleaned. It should be interesting.